One Epiphany Please

I kinda need enlightenment. Notice, I say "kinda" just to alleviate the graveness of the situation. I suppose to psychologically keep my "edge" in tact, even my pride. I'm quite complicated, and no it's no bragging; it gets on my nerves-- well confuses me actually and I find myself in the process of always trying to figure out myself. I know, that sentence in itself is complex.

I write to make sure that I have a time-stamp that I can look back on, and draw from for whatever reason(s). It's not for show, not for feedback, and definitely not for attention.

Allahoma - in this holiest of months, the beautiful Ramadan, I ask the most Merciful and Gracious to guide me for I dearly am in need of such mercy.